Monday, November 11, 2013

Saying goodbye

Vivian Nadine Darlene Oman Gaiser
Saying goodbye again. Being grateful for my Mom. When you think you have grieved all that their is to grieve there always seems to be one more emotion that sneaks out of no where.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; Ecclesiastes 3:1,3

As the sun set, we quieted our conversations and had our last family prayer around the big kitchen island that my Mom called home. It has not been her home in 10 years since her death. This night we celebrated a Thanksgiving meal at my mom's, Nadine Vivian’s house. It was a final good-bye as my dad is moving on in life. This was the house he built on a promise to her after she battled cancer the first time. I spent the afternoon helping with the preparations of the meal. Greeting lifetime friends and family. Plain busyness. Not wanting to think about this chapter ending. I finally sat spanning the room. It was one of those moment where you want to take a forever picture but you know that moment will fade. 
Love of family and friends

I started looking around and made eye contact with my husband's kind eyes and I got weepy.  Reality finally came.  I let myself feel the inevitable emotions of that moment. I am great at turning off the valve when needed. My mom did that too. We think that makes us tough but actually it is not a good trait. It’s like playing dodge ball. Eventually your going to get hit and come unglued or unhealthy. Take your pick. When something is missing in your life it is part of the plot of your storyline.The missing familiar.

Gabriella Nadine at Nad's Casa
I think the kicker for me was when my oldest daughter came walking up the driveway with her niece the namesake of my mom. They had escaped the crowd for a moment of peace. Nichole and Gabriella Nadine had ventured to the neighbors porch across the street. The one with the rocking chair that was one my moms favorite resting places. One where she had a perfect view of her house and she could rest her tired body and reflect in her last days. Or it could have been the minutes with my younger daughter Nichelle, as we looked upon her Great grandmother Emma’s antique piece that was no longer ours. We reminded each other it is just stuff.  Good stuff. Good memories of good people long gone!


Patio in the Pines

I read this yesterday ... People want to live on one side of the line. But if you don’t feel sadness you cannot feel joy. So as I post these photos I need to say goodbye again. Tomorrow I will change the view and look for the new sunrise. 
Gaiser staples, pecan rolls and cranberry ice
Antique sideboard

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