Where is my next dwelling place?

My first childhood home on Mansfield, built by my Dad

My spirit is feeling stirred. Maybe in not such a great way, I think to 
myself. Becoming more unsettled? Yes, that is it. I know something is coming up. Maybe not immediately but something is getting ready to separate me from this present place where my heart rest. That feeling of boxes, packing tape and that annoying loud bubble wrap and ugly tan paper causes a queazy stomach.

Recently I helped a wonderful couple downsize from their home of 20 years to a smaller beautiful space. I have done this work before as a "Move Manager," so I know the inner turmoil. I listen to the words being spoken and the signs to encourage them when needed. When people have two feet in separate homes it is a tough place. You are drawn to the old home and the comforts. On the other foot trying to adapt your treasures into a new place and feel like you can make an imprint into the new is mentally exhausting on top of the physical. Not every shoe is made to fit, nor is a home. Sure enough, tiredness set in and the words came out, “I want to go home.” She said as she stood at the new kitchen sink. My lower lip formed a pouty face for her.

“To where the hearts inclined, the feet will follow.” 

                                       Robin Jones Gunn

In my life sometimes I have to look for the subtler hints that God gives me. Last summer I read a book that stirred my spirit. The story was so similar to mine. The author’s tale of selling a home she loved that had great heart history in order to pay a debt. Ok, did that twice, so lets pretend to move on. Or a book given as a gift that focus’s on “Nesting.” Based on how to find that happy place as you rent.  The intention was to give me pleasure in seeing how someone else does life as a Interior Designer in a home that is rented.  But deep within the message was encouragement to view that place of joy in the midst of not so perfect. Having to rent. Then a 3rd book, the latest fiction by Robin Jones Gunn. Not again a story on.. you guessed it, knowing a move is unfolding. Really?  Ok so I get the message. 

             Loud speaker warms up. 

PREPARE your Heart! 

Where is your dwelling place?  It can vary you know. For many, it is a person or being close to those that are familiar that you love. Perhaps it could be in a current or former home, camper or a location you grew up near.  For many it is in the heart or for others in the spirit. Some attach their heart to a event or a time they remember that was so hopeful. Is there such a place in your world with the tumultuous times around you that makes you feel safe?  

From a large home to a camper This is my brave girlfriend!

It is starting to sear my space, lose my place and tear my peace. 

If ..Oh if, I allow it to.

I recently read a story about a very large group of people who were set free from captivity. A very unsafe place. They traveled miles to escape and encountered many road blocks. They turned and looked back and could see the enemy coming after them again. The enemy regretted setting them loose. The chasing pressed these people up against a large expanse of water. Low and behold the people running found an opening in front of them and crossed over. Next they had to look in for their source of provision of food and water in the midst of weariness. Also, signs of light to guide them so they would not get lost by night or by day. Sounds tough huh? Can you imagine not knowing where you were going and what is in front of you?

They finely arrived to a very nice region that was offered to them with a couple conditions. They were too scared to accept the gift. So they sent in some bold family member to check it out. Upon their return three said it was very very good. Others said it was nice but they saw some tough people who look to big to fight in order to posses their land.  And the story unfolds more.

Many family members balked and said take me back to my former captivity. They knew how to handle the familiar. Those were the ones who lived in fear of the unknown but hated the fear of the former. Then others paused and thought some more. They sat and talked about it and decided they would go for it and do what was asked of them. In their hesitation they lost their timing. After much uncertainty some went and fought for that victory. Many family members died and so did the favor upon them. Their time expired. Why you ASK?  The gift was offered. Yes, But they did not trust the giver. The giver sees the heart and knows what’s best.

How many of us chose to go to a new place. Job, state or situation, but unfamiliarity over takes us. Fear creeps in or a voice speaks, the obstacles are too big.

Some of you recognize this story of the Exodus to the Promised Land. Many of us can imprint this story over our own. Fear, timing, not sticking it out, not trusting what the small voice said. Or simply mot be courageous!

Where is your place of belonging, of resting in turmoil or peace? What? 

You know, the place where your heart rests nightly when you quiet down and breathe in the night air? 

Come all who are weary with your heavy loads:

 lay down your burden, find rest for your soul.

 Living inside a mystery of where your journey is going is a hard place to be.  I want to shake people who have lived in the same place for twenty something years and say do you realize how wonderfully fabulous this is? That was me in 2003. Taking it all for granted. Before the rug got pulled out from under me and packed. But I stand on prayer. Do not be dismayed Rebekah, or hopeless. Your God, though quiet, is actively working behind the scenes and pulling circumstances together for your good. You have an active hidden role in how it is playing out and the timing. He waits and we react, and we react and he waits. It’s a tug of love even if you feel like it is a war!

I am reminded of this verse that is one of my favorites. “He or she that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Ps. 91

In my email drafts I keep a special letter to myself. Its been there for years. Here is what it says. Simple truth. Feel free to copy it, and insert your name. Rest your heart in near the presence of peace and security. Psalm 91

 1   Rebekah dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

     and rests in the shadow of the Almighty.  

 2   Rebekah says of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my        

       fortress my God, in whom I trust." 

 3  Surely he saves Rebekah from the fowler's snare 

       and from the deadly pestilence. 

 4  He covers Rebekah with his feathers, 

       and under his wing Rebekah's shield and rampart. 

 5  Rebekah does not fear the terror of night, 

       nor the arrow that flies by day, 

 6  nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, 

       nor the plague that destroys at midday. 

 7  A thousand may fall at Rebekah's side, 

       ten thousand at her right hand, 

       but it will not come near her. 

 8  Rebekah will only observe with her eyes 

       and see the punishment of the wicked. 

 9   Rebekah makes the Most High her dwelling— 

       even the LORD, who is her refuge- 

 10 then no harm befalls her, 

       no disaster comes near her tent. 

 11 For he commands his angels concerning Rebekah 

       to guard her in all his ways; 

 12 they lift him up in their hands, 

       so that she will not strike his foot against a stone. 

 13  Rebekah treads upon the lion and the cobra; 

         she tramples the great lion and the serpent. 

 14 "Because Rebekah loves me," says the LORD, "I  will          

        rescue her; I protect her, for she acknowledges my                      name.

 15  Rebekah calls upon me, and I answer her; 

       I am with her in trouble, 

       I deliver her and honor him. 

 16 With long life I will satisfy Rebekah 

       and show her my salvation."

Notes:

I was reading “Victim of Grace” By Robin Jones Gunn

“The Nesting Place” by Myquillyn Smith

“Home of our Hearts” By Robin Jones Gunn

The Bible, NIV

EXODUS comes from two greek words meaning “exit” or “way out.” 

The Waiting Room

KP and his dog

Sitting in the waiting room. What a unbearable place to be. Those stiff chairs and stares across the room as you see others who are also uncomfortable waiting for news.  I have had that experience quite often in the last few years. Now I find myself sitting at home for our next step and praying. Also in this time I am hoping, for a reversal of a condition for our dear friend whom I am afraid to let go of. 

Simplest of still water. A place to refresh

                 The other day I woke up uncommonly relaxed with no agenda. My husband mentioned we should call our friend as we had not spoked to him since Superbowl Sunday. My concern kicked in after I called and his voice mail which was uncommonly full still after a week.This has never happened in all the years of our triweekly communication.  My relaxed state was gone. Being that he lived out of state I researched my mail and found a common link to contact and emailed this gentleman to see KP’s status.

We had discovered our friends had hidden the severity of his health condition. He had taken a turn for the worse. My husband and I were shocked. He had dropped us clues in former conversation but never revealed the true diagnose. My solid diving platform which was my stability was knocked out from under me and I felt my soul going deep into old familiar territory. The uncertainty was swirling like a deep sea dive into the dark void of the ocean. This was a man who I turned to for Godly wisdom. He was as close as a brother but wise like a Father. We had the common thread of faith. I mean really strong. He could walk up to a stranger and tell them about Jesus with no embarrassment. I loved that about him!

His Momma's beautiful perfume bottle. 

I had become complacent that he would always be in my life. I believe he had his health concerns handled. My girlfriend had mentioned several times weeks ago she felt the urgency for me to go and see him. I had brushed off her words. I wish I could take that time back. Because I can’t, I deal with the now. Rear view mirrors make me miserable.

When you find yourself in uncomfortable situations you can turn it into action in the natural and prayer in the unseen spiritual world. So we prayed and flew to Phoenix.

His family for this season has become all of the friends who adore him as he never married. He was taken into a home of a high school friend. Talk about kindness! Hospice was notified and the waiting of not hearing has turned into a waiting of not knowing. 

We were usher into his quiet room. We found out that within 24 hrs he could no longer get out of bed on his own. Our window of time was still barely ajar.

KP''s visit with me in Sedona

 I got on his bed held his hand and we spoke to him of great memories over the years.  I played a song my sister had left for him on my voice mail and my dad called and spoke of their great times together and of their future residence in heaven. My husband who is a tender guy kept doing those big gulps and sighs of emotion. For some reason I got up and went and knelt on the opposite side of his bed and realized he had not seen me earlier due to lose of vision on the left side. He was very aware we were their and my husband who has a gift of healing in certain situations prayed for him. We read him Psalm 91 and 103. I wanted to stay and hold his hands for the next several days. As we forced ourselves to say goodbye, I leaned over and Said, “KP, I love you.”  His only words of the day flooded to my hearts he replied. “I love you too Becky!” Oh my! I will cherish those words for a long time. I had asked God for some sign and I got it. 

His former outside porch

Upon our return 3 states away I thanked my husband for praying. For being bold in that obedience of asking God for healing. My husband said that was not the amazing part for him but my strength and being the rock. You know both are needed at times and we fit together like a puzzle. Gods workmanship, not ours.

God controls the time

So we sit in our home waiting. We have learned how to wait. I did not say we liked it.  We are waiting on a defined corner as God forms our future plans. We have given God space and our hourglass to flip. 

Our friend is lying in, “the valley of the shadow of death.” My aunt says. “Its a place where you want to stay with the familiar of those you love. But God is calling you forward.  We give God the space to do his work. Even the breathe of hope that he would return him to us healed. See Update Below

A part of his work of art..

How are you handling the waiting room you are presently sitting in? Are you trusting God who loves you and is there to see you through this time? Are you allowing him the space to care and show his love even in the simplest of things like a window of time left ajar to say I love you…

Do you know your salvation is at hand? Only you can choose? It is through the one who forgives and loves you like no other. My friend would tell you straight up you need Jesus. No More Waiting! The redeeming blood of the cross and the one who died for you to give you eternal life. So I stand in his place and tell you to ask God for forgiveness of your sins and that you want him to live in your heart. Please do not wait!

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

1The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

3He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Update: Our Dear Friend went to be with the Lord Feb. 12th at 4:32 A.M. Surrounded and loved. His Celebration of Life service is March 14, 2015 at the East Chapel of Scottsdale Bible Church, I believe at 3 P.M.

What are you waiting for? Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

Fishing for the Peace

It could’ve been a clear or even an overcast day on the sandy shore. Several boats are moving up and down in the waves nearby at the harbor. You hear the husky voices of many men each with his own opinion on where to cast the net. One says cast it to to the aft, several says to the starboard. Frustration has mounted, feelings are frayed and ropes have tangled. The waters are murky and unclear and very dark.

On the shore a man stands in quiet strength as the morning dew gives way to a glimmer of growing light. He is unrecognized by those in the boat who are closest to him. The fisherman’s focus is on the water with attention drawn into the perplexed situation of no provision. Searching for a sign of fish. Any fish.

They never knew a dark night

always had the Son's light

on their face

Perfect in glory

Broken by the story

of untold grace...

come that day

This man who is strong physically and in spirit and who has the wisdom the men need for their situation is now lighting a small fire. Short distance separates the group from the man who is nearby. Frustration of the fisherman is countered by a man of peace. This single man is not alone as his spirit is full and he is at the helm. The group of men are depleted wrapped up in nets and boats and looking for their provision. They’re vision is shortsided. Little do they know as they are looking into the deep dark water around them how much they need that man. If only they would pull their eyes up away from what has them occupied. That which is draining and frustrating their spirit. 

Majesty had come down 

Glory had succumbed now 

to flesh and bone

In the arms of a manger

In the hands of strangers

that could not know

Just who they hold

If you were to close your eyes and think of this as a fantasy movie you could envision the dark cloud hovering over the boat. The net that is dropping from the sky as this unseen rope is entangling them. With no fish to be found and a night has been wasted with vacant holds, and the weight of empty pockets. If you were to take your supernatural vision to the shore you would see the light shining brightly with rays that glimmered gold like that of a fantasy movie. Maybe the angels are gathered whisking the darkness away with their wings. And the man on the shore knows where the fish are swimming, where the provision of Spirit is.

          But it is no movie. It is our reality.  It is Jesus.

To break the chains

Of guilt and sin

To find us here 

To pull us in 

So we can join in Heaven's song

And with one voice around the throne

In our hustle of doing the traditions. Buying gifts that are not for the one we are celebrating. Getting impatient with others as we drive and stand in lines. As we prepare for what? The purpose of Christmas and the Christ child gets buried under the nettings of the stress. Financial spending and overload. Family drama. Feeling alone and for some left alone and uninvited. Just to much to do or not enough!  Lost in the wrong flow of the season. It can all feell like heavy wrapping paper covering up the issues that we wish were different. Bright and shiny instead of dark. 

And all fell silent 

For the cry of an infant,

the voice of God

Was dividing history

For those with eyes to see,

the Son would shine

From earth that night

What do we need to reclaim the things of Christ? To be like Jesus who touched the lives of those in his path. Or in training to fish for men? To forgive those who are persecuted by their own sins in a world where everybody is a sinner. Many are moored in un-sailed rigs. The pier is comfortable. It bridges our own fears, anger, or justifications we have let sink in our mind and lives. Like a lure on a hook. It dangles until more weeds than fish are caught  As we let it flow we work really hard during these holidays not to go under. To put the smile on our face to those around us. Only the closest know the hook is full and weighty. 

            

All the Angels filled the sky

And I can't help but wonder why 

Why this King would choose to be

Be a baby born for me

Be a baby born 

Be a baby born to die

So how do we open the door to the cargo to unload the burdens? You know how! Stop! Spend a moment reflecting on the baby who was born to die! For you, me, and this sinful imperfect world. This perfect child, Our Savior! Ask Christ to fill your heart and take away the burdens and rest in His peace. He was born so he could die for all of this stuff. The man-made Christmas. Our dramas, opinions, spending and unloving spirits.. 

Join Christ, Be Christ, Live Christ, Love Christ!                          

Love and Merry CHRISTmas to you as you seek and catch His Peace!

*Born to Die 

Bebo Norman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S5cQhx2nZA